scott.friderich.net
*Pre-Ramble*: We are approaching the two year mark of returning to America from living in Budapest.tempus fugit
So it was more than appropriate that I was able to spend a weekend in Budapest two weeks ago. While I did have the treat of breaking bread with dear friends like Jay and Beth Weaver, Julia, and Gabi, I also spent a lot of time wandering the 19th century Boulevards of Pest and hiking over the hills of Buda reflecting on our time there.
What a rich, horrible, wonderful, and terrible time it was. I pined for my time in Budapest like a man pines for his lost childhood: a wonderful era to which he can never truly return.
A lot of things happened to us as a family and to me in "the leaving". There has been a lot of deep hurt, pruning, and growth. I became- and I still am- a man very much undone. I have told my story in part and in bits to different people at different times in different ways. Recently, a former student from a youth group I used to lead asked me why I described myself as "post-Christian" on my Facebook profile. I vomited out three paragraphs that somewhat summed it up, but it still lacked the breadth and depth of the full story. Until now I have been holding back on publicly recounting many key aspects of my story. I had been lying to myself that I was nobly doing this to protect the reputation of others who had hurt me. I was making myself into a martyr.
This is really bullshit.
The truth is that I have been scared of these people and their friends not liking me any more if I came out and told my full story of leaving the mission field and the church. This is really stupid since they pretty much didn't care that much about me and my family to begin with (this is ironically the crux of a lot of the hurt... but I will get to that later). A few very close friends know the full story, but I realize that it is important for me to disclose the story publicly for the sake of my own healing as well to provide a foundation or "apologetic" for where I am today.
And by "publicly" I'm not going to name people and churches. To tell my story I will obviously have to make references such as "the church where I was on staff" and "someone on the missions committee" and those who know me will be able to easily understand who or what I am talking about. The point of this post and the many to follow is not to tear down these men and these institutions. On the contrary, these are good men that mean well and I only hope for the rich blessings of God in their lives. There were many times in the last 2 years where I have felt a deep bitterness and resentment towards these people and institutions. That is honestly not where I am today. I will try to tell this story without trying to flame anyone involved, but I will also be completely honest about my perspective of the events in our lives. Please feel free to comment on any of the posts on this story but PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do not name people or institutions if you realize who they are. If you do I will edit or delete your post. Sorry. While I need to tell the truth, specific names are not necessary. A lot of very ugly things happened- there were a lot of emotional situations. As I said, the purpose of this story is not emotional vengeance. I simply need to do this for my own healing and because, very deep down, I simply feel that I must.
So why now?
First of all God told me to. As I walked around Budapest last month I had a strong sense that it was time to begin to tell this story systematically, consistently, and publicly. The second reason is that it has only been in the last few months that I have begun to understand the core of my own hurt and how all the events of the last years tie together.
And so to begin the story I really have to go back to about 18 months before we left Budapest to October 2004 when I first realized that I needed to leave...
Friderichs, Dec 2007
The
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the 100 day uv scool: there is a porte.
dena.friderich.net
Dossier is on its way!: A dossier is the ginormous packet of official papers that are notarized, stamped by the county, state and nation, and details just about every aspect of our life. It's intended to prove that we would make great adoptive parents. It has taken us about 6 months to get to this point. But on Tuesday our dossier shipped to Ethiopia. Which means in a couple of days we will begin to be considered for a referral from one of our agency's partner ophanages! We are so excited. Please pray for a swift and providential process. elise vienna's
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Life Imitates Art: [video]http://www.youtube.com/v/Ri3zqNs1U48[/video]